A Hopeful Missionary

I've searched for you every day. Ever since I turned sixteen I've looked high and low, dated girls I hardly knew, broken the ice thousands of times.

Some of them had your smile. 

Some of them had your eyes. 

Some of them laughed the way you do. 

Maybe one of them was you.

 Whether or not I've met you, I will continue to search. And not just search but prepare. Because I know that you are looking for me too and I'm scared that our eyes will never meet in the right way if I'm not everything that you dreamed of as well. I'm taking a two-year training course on how to live with another person for twenty-four hours a day, how to serve and how to work. I'm told that these are qualities that you will expect from me. 

I'm told that you will have high standards. 

I hope to meet them. 

I pray that I will meet them. 

And I pray for you. 

Nearly every day. 

It's hard for me to keep searching at this point, knowing that whatever relationship may arise will have little time to grow before being put on hold for two years. 

But I don't want to miss you by giving up now. 

Just in case.

So I keep looking for a pair of eyes to get lost in, a laugh that will take me above the clouds, a smile that will melt my heart. 

Someone who loves to watch the stars, try weird foods and have pillow fights at one in the morning. Someone with so much personality that she is bursting at the seams.

Someone who talks all the time and sings out of tune.

Someone who isn't afraid to try ziplining or yoga or Thai curry.

Someone who gets lost in a good book and is late for school.

Someone who will stay up all night with me while we make cheesecake just for the heck of it.

Someone who talks to God every night.

Someone who respects herself.

Someone who is praying to find me.

To that girl: Perhaps nearly everything that I've said so far doesn't describe you in any way. That's ok. Because the song is always better in concert, the book is always better than the movie and you will be so much better in person than anything I can conjure up on paper. Just know this: I won't rest until I find you and can hold your hand for Eternity. My heart doesn't know it's lonely yet. But it will see what it's been missing once I've found you. I think I love you already. If I've already met you, please be patient with me. Two years is a long time. Wait for me. Search for me.

I will find you.