Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Lion Heart

He has a faithful heart. 
She has a pure heart. 
Some have lion hearts. 
Grandma has a big heart. 
Dad has a kind heart. 
They all have steady hearts. 

I'm your heart.
And everyone says that if you just follow me, you will have peace.
Everyone says that if you follow me, you will have joy.
Everyone says to follow me.
Perhaps they say that because it worked for them. 
After all they have faithful, steady, lion hearts
That seem to know exactly what they want

But I don't.

The truth is 
I'm not a steady
pure
kind
lion heart.
I'm just your battered, lonely, wandering heart.
And although I'm glad that you've finally started listening to me
I'm still a wanderer.
But despite my lack of experience,
I'm a hopeful heart.
Despite the layers upon layers of scars
despite the times you forgot me in our pocket and ran me through with the laundry
despite the days when you came home holding me in your bloodied fist 
and rung the tear water out of me like a dirty handkerchief 
because you were never allowed to cry on the outside
despite the claw marks I left on the inside of your rib cage
despite the long nights I spent pounding on your chest
begging to be heard
despite the times you tried to drown me in ink
despite the times you tried to press me in a textbook 
or iron me flat 
or twist me into something that you wanted
despite our disagreements

I'm still hopeful

Because when you realized that only I could fill the tiny cavity in your chest
You stopped trying to replace me with other things
Because when you realized that you've only got one heart 
Imperfect as I am
You finally started listening to me

I don't know if listening to me will bring us both happiness
But I'm the only heart you've got
So let's work this out together
And learn from each other
And maybe one day I can be 


A Lion Heart










10 comments:

  1. 美しく書いたよ!カイさんはライオンの心があると思うんだね。

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  2. Wow. This is beyond beautiful. I love this so much!

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  3. "Because when you realized that only I could fill the tiny cavity in your chest
    You stopped trying to replace me with other things" mmmm yes

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  4. so so so good! loved this! thanks for sharing.

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  5. I liked how you had "different" hearts. PS your guitar playing slays me all the time

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  6. ok. so that entire paragraph about your heart telling you what it is, yah, thats so amazing.

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  7. "despite the claw marks I left on the inside of your rib cage" #stolen

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  8. I like the claw mark rib cage part...reminds me of when I was 1/2 chimp

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  9. this was such a cool idea. wow.

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